maidenmothercronus:

inconvenientlylargelizard:

HOW TO CHEER UP IN 2 EASY STEPS

  1. WHISPER “BEEP BOOP” TO YOURSELF.
  2. REPEAT UNTIL NOT SAD.

((BUT WHY DOES THIS WORK??????))

(via hippopotapookie)

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

(via robots-in-the-skies)

"Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness."

Katherine Henson (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

"We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love."

Lori Deschene  (via chubby-bunnies)

(Source: nezua, via maybewhenyoureolder)

"My wife is not a handbag. If she doesn’t want to come, she doesn’t want to come. She is her own person and has her own life."

Thomas Müller when asked why his wife didn’t attend the World Cup In Brazil (via jerome-boateng)

(Source: mrsrinrin, via maybewhenyoureolder)